On the edge..

"On the edge" haan seems like my ability is only that far,.. Feels kinda similar to basketball, I ve been watching enough to understand what it means to lose by 1 point at the last second when the clock is continuously running down,.. I watch those anime continuously every day, just to find some inspiration,.

That's right the clock is running down on my life, and I am at the edge of my frustrated limit,.just Don't know what to do.. I m so PATHETIC and USELESS , good for nothing.. It's been an year and I can't get myself a job,.. Everyone is counting on me, and now more than ever i need Money,.. Rinky S wedding will be fixed this year mostly, I M not able to support them..

I M ready to sacrifice anything,. Anytime anyplace I M ready to go,. But that also I m not able to do it.. I M such an idiot,. I know only to depend on others..I know only to cry late at the night after everyone sleeps, . only to stay awake till 5am in the morning thinking and crying about job being an ass all the time, only to feel asleep after being tired from all the crying,.U big fat lousy idiot, get yourself together fast..

Dreams with aspirations

This was the first time I ve ever experienced the feeling,.. Don't even know how to describe it.

First thing I remember was i m dreaming about myself, .. Met my friends we had a jolly good time together,. We talked about our futures,. And the next thing I remember is that wake up because I was crying,..

I mean I really cried in my dream and then when i wake up i find tears in real, gosh it was weird,.. I partially remember, only the cause of it,  it was something related to my job..

geez I m so pathetic and weak,.. Grow up,.